I had something happen last week, I think it was last week, where somewhat out of the blue I was invited back to an old haunt. I had said to someone that this would eventually happen, to which they had doubts, but it was one of those things that just felt inevitable though in this case somewhat akin to unfinished business.
And that made sense simply in how the invite was couched. As in like come back and start at the bottom, which I didn't answer except I did say I would surely come back in for a chat at the least. Because, for me, there are things I'd quite like to do and in this regard theres a possibility of investment in that so I'm more than willing to offer my side of what might be a round of bargaining.
In the meantime I tied up again some old strings left dangling and with that reviewed a little of what said old haunt was up to and made a seemingly innocuous comment... boom! Door closed. Oops, but then again, not really oops as I'd tweaked an emotional edge got a reaction and realised nothing hew had happened so the whole thing would have been a waste of time anyways.
Then, just the other day, someone gets all upset about an attack on something cherished and new and goes mad, as in angry this and that and then this and then that, and again I'm like bloody emotions, they can be a pain in the ass.
Now I've nothing against emotions per se except when the owners of said emotions are victimising themselves with their own emotional outbursts and basically using such to blame the world for all their own unresolved problems.
And this leads to one of the things I say quite often now which is that when people are irrational then no amount of rationality is going to make any difference especially, it seems, and this is something I've encountered recently, these people who have these emotional outbursts seem to enshroud their denial in being all for critical thinking... weird.
But then again I don't really care that much and instead of trying to push my own ideas of what might be going on I turn things around and wonder why I might feel a need to offer what I think are either answers or a better set of questions to address whatever any emotional outburst is actually sitting on top of. To that end it's like feeling the magnetism within any outer shows of emotions which seem to be irrational and then feeling whether these outbursts are setting off little echoes in me so I can dig down deeper into myself and uncover any little pots of my own gold.
I still like intellect though and maybe that's about all the years I've spent meditating and being able to quiet my mind not to the extent that it's an enemy worth vanquishing but that being able to isolate the intellect and then feel around it's edges for attachments to emotionality has somehow honed the abilities with intellect I might have. It's not that it's suddenly so much better so much that it's possibly a little more refined.
Trouble is though that even this seems problematic in the sense that so many people seem to ride the unbroken horses of their emotionality that even being rationally unencumbered, not completely of course, seems to be a threat a lot of people can smell from ages away and start fighting even before the lines of the cage are even drawn.
What I do find though is that hypocrisy seems to be the defining gesture. An unrecognised hypocrisy which seems entirely obvious to me yet seems to be entirely oblivious to the people who brandish it alike their own form of nationalism and patriotic fervour... weird.
Me, I love my hypocrisies, and often go in search of deeper and more vital inconsistencies... they are the emulsifiers of my existence, hypocrisy is that ingredient which allows the disparity of oil and water to mix and have the best of each doing their work together.
But out there in the world there seems to be nothing worse, nothing more demeaning of post modernist development and progress, than hypocrisy. Yet, if theres anything the whole world swims in it is hypocrisy except it's always outside... never can it be inside.
That seems then the catch 22, if I even remember what a catch 22 is (so I better google it) but before I do that I'll speculate... it is the point at which disparity must be faced. "a dilemma or difficult circumstance from which there is no escape because of mutually conflicting or dependent conditions."
So it is then pretty much what I thought it was except I see it as something to be embraced whereas the accepted meaning is it is something to be avoided at all costs.
Now I come to my own catch 22 and there was a quote a few years ago I read but alike I usually do I just read it, took it on board but forgot about the details of who said it and what was specifically said. The gist of it was though that some enlightened dude said that once you are enlightened you know completely and utterly that such cannot be explained but that the whole and inexplicable reason for having attained enlightenment is to try and do so.
Even then, at the supposed heights of human achievement, what do we find? Hypocrisy.
At this point I think I'll go right back to the beginning, not of my life, but this post. Why? 'Cause I like intellect.
So we have an attack or a defense of something and let's say it's an intellectual stance yet the attack/defense is powerfully emotional. This power, then, which underlines the intellect is drawn from the emotion. This then is the obvious clue. Power.
Therefore, I'm bored now and I want to rap this up, any display of power is hypocrisy in action and what may define it as useful or otherwise is the order to which it is recognised or not.